feel hard to walk.even move.the burden that i thought would be lighter seems getting heavier. if i were swimming in the sea,im not going to move forward but DOWNWARD and its call diving not swimming.diving till i reach the floor of the blue in the end out of oxygen and burried in it.everything i've planned does not go the way i want it to be.well not all of it,but most of it. its my fault,cant change what i suppose to change.my fault. if i continue goes this way,i would never be back in the light,i saw my self being shadowed by my own shadow and the path of the darkness approaching,both of us are approaching to each other.
i pissed myself off.trying to hurt myself smashing everything,punch the wall that nobody should punch.if i tell anyone about my problem they would tell me,i have to solve the problem in order to get out from the mess.but that is my big problem,sometimes i intend to leave the problem alone,but me myself is worrying about it,and choose to do nothing.im giving myself excuses without even trying i always did that and it always put me in trouble,sometimes big trouble.
today i feel like to stay at my room doing nothing,stay quiet as i can dont want to talk to much and watching movie which is the other side of the world(movie world) so i wont be inside of my world the real world.speechless out of the blue.im done writting.
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